Love will overlook offenses, forgive, let them go and move on. Love will not remain focused on a harm done to them or a desire to do harm. Rather, Love will remain focused on what is good, refusing to hold resentment in our hearts.
Writing last week about Joshua, he reflected this kind of love for his brothers. He refused to take offense and pay them back for the wrongs they had done to him. Rather, he knew he was being entrusted by God with something so much more significant. He told his brothers in essence, ‘Who am I to judge you? Rather, it is because what happened to me that I am in position today to be able to care for you and all the others in Egypt.’
This is not the only time that God has entrusted someone to the care of their enemy. He did this with David as well. Saul pursued David relentlessly. David lost everything he had as a result. He lost his position, his provision, his home, his wife, those friends and family that surrounded him. He had to hide in caves and move from place to place just to survive. Yet, when faced with the temptation to take matters in his own hand and seek revenge, he refused.
Those that were with David would not at all hold it against him if he would of ended Saul’s life. In fact, when the opportunity arose, it was those closest to him that told him in 1 Samuel 23:24, “I am giving your enemy into your hand. You may do with him as seems good to your eyes!”
Notice the word here is good and not harm. It is actually the word yatab, Strongs# 3190 and it means to treat well, amend, care for and prosper them. God was putting Saul in his hand to help Saul get freedom.
After feeling convicted for cutting off a small corner of Saul’s robe, David realized this and moved toward Saul in the Love that the Lord gave him for Saul. David even was able to see Saul as playing the role of a father in his life (1 Samuel 24:11). He spoke to Saul words of truth and unity that helped Saul see the situation different.
In Samuel 24:11, He told him, “Observe and see that there is no evil or rebellion in my hand. I have not sinned against you, but you are lying in wait for my life to take it.”
As a result, Saul had space to repent. He saw the truth and became convicted about it. Saul wept over his sin in great remorse (1 Samuel 24:16) and responded to David by recognizing him as a son. He acknowledged that David had only did him good. Rather than staying in the place of self-protection, ambition and jealousy, Saul was able to turn things around and walk away from pursuing David at that point.
This was not the first time David had chosen the path of love and protection, doing the right thing over taking vengeance. He was able to make space for Saul in the time that it counted because he had been exercising this capacity in his other dealings.
As an example, in 1 Samuel 23:1-12, David hears that the Philistines are attacking Keilah and they are being looted. With no benefit to himself, David and his mend went down to help. They stepped in and fought against the Philistines, risking their own lives as well as being seen. David saw they had a need and so he actively inquired of the Lord if he could come to their aid. Not only this, but once he did come to their aid, it exposed him and his men so they had to flee after.
No wonder David and his men were called “mighty men of valor.” They put Kingdom concerns first, even when it was at their own expense. Walking in Kingdom love often involves sacrifice of our own desires, wants and even good.
One author writes that when we follow Jesus under His lordship and walk in his ways, it will bring trouble and persecution in our lives because the culture we live in is opposite. See John 16:33. Genuine Christianity does not promise a happy, successful and comfortable life. [1] Rather, love compels us to walk through fire, droughts and all sorts of difficulty to give our lives away.
How many of us, if we see a situation where we risk losing a great deal with nothing to gain, stop to ask God’s heart and if we can go help and come to their aid out of love? Do we share God’s heart and are willing to help others even when it costs us?
I long to be more like this. Loving people who hurt you is not an easy charge. At the same time, my choice to love others, hurt others or seek revenge can have eternal impact on the kingdom. Just recently I felt my Father speak this to me as I had an argument with my husband and spoke some hurtful words.
I felt so bad for doing it, but it doesn’t change that I made a choice in that moment. Rather than using restraint and self-control, I was hurtful. I wish I could say that this was the very first time that it ever happened. But the truth is that I have this in my longstanding generational family history on my father’s side.
Over the years, I have got better at controlling it and having any issue with it has been reduced substantially. But just when I think that I have it totally under control, it rears its ugly head and I say something hurtful, usually to my husband who has me frustrated in the moment because he is so safe and loving.
I think the key for me is thinking that I can control it and manage it on my own. It is a place of self sufficiency that I try to manage it in my own strength. Then when I succeed, I become self-righteous about it. It is just about this time that something happens where I stuff my frustration over a lot of little issues and then some small offense triggers me and I snap back.
Paul says in Romans 7:15-20, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”
In Kings, over and over there are stories of kings who clung to the sins of their fathers. They walked in these generational sins without even thinking about it. And those who managed to make changes and walk towards what is right, often still left in the land the idols that were established under their fathers. They don’t even see them because they grew up in them and they are engrained.
Abijah is an example of this. It says about him, “He walked in all the sins of his father that he had done before him, and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God as the heart of his father David has been.” (1 Kings 15:3)
Hurtful words that cause others harm are never appropriate. Paul says in Ephesians 4:29, “And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others, do this by speaking words of grace to help them.” (Ephesians 4:29).
When I was at church this weekend, feeling very solemn and remorseful about the incident, just before taking communion, I felt the Lord speak to me directly about it. He told me that He has plans and purposes for my husband and when I make choices to sin, it has kingdom impact.
It says in Matthew 12:36-37 that we will have to give an account of every careless word we speak in life. The word careless here is argos and it also means injurious or harmful. Let that sink in a moment. Any time we are careless and injure someone with our words, we will be held accountable for it. It has eternal impact.
The difference between walking in the sin of our fathers and walking in the freedom of the Lord is who we are trusting in. Those kings that did not walk in the sins of their fathers were the ones who fully trusted in the Lord. They walked not in their own sufficiency but the sufficiency of Christ and the covenant with all sincerity of heart. They tore down anything of their fathers that led people astray and brought revival to the Land.
Asa is an example of this as he destroyed his grandmother’s idol and burned it. His heart was wholly devoted to the Lord. Commentary notes that “True revival always includes recognizing and changing behaviors that offend God and violate his Word.” [2]
Besides speaking something hurtful, our failure to speak up at all can have eternal impact. I recently heard a message by one of the Chaplains at my work during a chapel service. He mentioned a deep regret in his life when he felt strongly prompted to share the gospel with someone and didn’t. He thought to himself, he could do it another time. Then the next time that he saw this person, it was at their funeral. They died shortly after.
How incredibly remorseful he was for not taking this opportunity. He was being entrusted to give this person one last opportunity and he failed to act on it. I had a dream a month or so ago where I walked by a car that had a cat in it. I felt it was not my place to let him out so I walked by and left him in the car. Someone else came by and let the cat out.
“A cat is a cat” is a very old proverb and it speaks of being aloof and self-sufficient. When I walk by someone and don’t take advantage of an opportunity to tell them about the God I know, I am leaving them in a hot and uncomfortable place that will eventually lead to their demise by being aloof and self-sufficient.
How many times do I walk by something and pass it up because I do not want to intrude? In not sharing the gospel in some situations that don’t seem as conducive, I am not being my brother’s keeper. I am caring more about what feels comfortable and looks appropriate over what is right.
Rather, I need to let my love and care for others lead me to tell them about the greatest gift of all – inviting them into freedom. As God has been speaking since the beginning of time with Cane and Able, I am my brothers’ keeper.
The real proof of our love for God must always be how we express, love and treat others with dignity & respect – esteeming them in love. Our greatest offerings will not only extol the Lord but consider and love others sacrificially.
Samuel was someone who demonstrated deep love for others. He built an altar to the Lord at the place he resided with his family ( 1 Samuel 7:17). The deepest place of worship for him was his home front not some far off tent as he traveled the circuit while ministering before the Lord.
Do we make our home front central to our worship? What are we building with our lives an altar of worship or tribute to an idol of the world?
Samuel had been the one who anointed Saul as the king. Then over time when Saul continually blew it by disrespecting and disregarding God, Samuel confronted him and tried to lead him back towards faithfulness. What Saul seemed to care most about was not repenting but using Samuel’s influence to keep his position secure.
Saul continually chose a path of idolatry and self-sufficiency rather than dependence upon God. When Saul and the people were waiting for Samuel to make the offering before battle, Samuel was late and the people began to lose confidence.
Rather than stirring the people’s confidence in God, Saul said, ‘Bring here to me the burnt offering and the peace offerings.’ Then he offered the burnt offering. When he finished offering the burnt offering, Samuel came. And Saul went to meet him to greet him. Samuel said, ‘What have you done?’”
Is our life full of fruit or full of regrets and thoughts of ‘What have you done?’
When Saul failed to honor God and took things into his own hands, he was not only going astray himself, but as a leader, he was leading others astray. Samuel, having anointed Saul as king, felt a personal responsibility to pray for Saul to return to the Lord. When Saul would not turn away from his sin and idolatry it says, “It grieved Samuel, and he cried to the Lord all night.” (1 Samuel 15:11)
Do we let God’s purposes so prevail in our lives that we deeply grieve when they go amiss? Are we willing to cry out all night to the Lord about them?
And what about crying out all night for the purposes of God in our children’s lives to prevail? Commentary notes, “The greatest inheritance that any father can pass on to his child is the desire to honor God and advance the purposes of his kingdom on earth.
God used Samuel powerfully. He was a man of intimacy and faith in the Lord. Powerful miracles happened through his ministry. Yet, his sons failed to serve the Lord. They had significant moral failures by turning to idolatry of money over the Lord. It was because of their failure that the people turned to look for a king in the first place.
My littlest is coming out of this closed down COVID season with what seems to be depression. I didn’t start realizing this until a few days ago as I was told that it looks different in children. It can come out in agitation and poor choices. Both his folks had struggled with depression so it runs in his biological family line. Before COVID he was always filled with such joy. It has left me at a loss on what to do than cry out to the Lord.
I wish I had the answers but I don’t. I know God is more than able to heal him as many years ago the Lord healed me of depression when I first came into the Kingdom. I wrote at the time, “A life that was once filled with such despair, can now see joy and gladness everywhere.” Praying and believing that the One who leaves the 99 to chase down the 1 with relentless love will overtake Him. More than anything, I want my kids to know His love that never gives up, desires the best for them, is relentless and a safe shelter.
Lord, That you would bless us indeed and enlarge our capacity to love, serve and give generously to all. Help us to see the value and treasure in every single person you created, even those who wrong us or are against us. Let your hand be toward us, showing us favor and keeping us from any hurtful or injurious actions towards others, that it may not result in our hardship from Your judgement!” (1 Chronicles 4:10) Give us passion to pursue your Kingdom purposes with Your relentless love and meet us in our places of need.
- West, Joshua. Hard Sayings: Reconciling the Cost of Discipleship and the American Dream. Westbow Press, Bloomington IN. 2018.
- Fire Bible (MEV). Life Publishers International. 2015.
